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 Trying to find

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Teabag
Maj Gen
Maj Gen
avatar

Number of posts : 960
Age : 67
Localisation : Merseyside
Cap Badge : Royal Signals
Places Served : Wildenrath Detmold
Registration date : 2008-10-30

PostSubject: Trying to find   23/11/2010, 12:05

It can't have escaped our notice that in the Trying to find section, there often appears some poor child looking for their long lost dad who just happened to have been a serving member of HM Forces Germany in the past.

It's a difficult one I agree and as we know, some dads might not want to be found but I think we should do all we can to help these people if at all possible.

My best mate is married to a girl whose father was a GI in the war. She tried for years to locate him and she had the added bonus of knowing his full name and according to American law, they are entitled to a certain amount of help from their records. It was all to no avail and it is such a shame because like most who post on this site, she wants nothing from him, just to know who he is/was etc. It truly is an emotional rollercoaster for these "kids" who didn't ask to be born so we should do what we can without causing anyone problems if possible.

Just my opinion.
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jim
Let Gen
Let Gen
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Number of posts : 1291
Localisation : Sutton Coldfield
Cap Badge : RAOC
Places Served : Dad, Hamburg, Bad Oeynhausen, Iserlohn, Bury, Osnabruck, Worcester. Me Detmold, Bielefeld, NI, HK
Registration date : 2008-01-03

PostSubject: Re: Trying to find   23/11/2010, 13:17

I totally agree with you mate.
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Themaadone
Maj
Maj
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Number of posts : 270
Localisation : Near London
Cap Badge : RAOC/RLC/AGC
Places Served : Bielefeld, Guetersloh, Viersen, Bracht, Falklands, Aldershot, Leconsfield, NI, Rwanda, Croatia, Bosnia, Kosovo, Afghanistan
Registration date : 2010-09-02

PostSubject: Re: Trying to find   23/11/2010, 18:37

I agree as well. I knew a fair few guys who had 'squaddie' dads and didn't know who they were also, when a soldier (as the former was when I was a kid at a German school) I knew dozens of girls, up the duff and their boyfriend back home never to be seen again. Not fair in my opinion!
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steve jones
Capt
Capt


Number of posts : 210
Age : 65
Localisation : Christchurch, NZ
Cap Badge : REME
Places Served : AAC Carlisle, Bielefeld, Werl, Munster, Arborfield
Registration date : 2008-04-08

PostSubject: Re: Trying to find   24/11/2010, 08:31

there was a time when having got a a young local lass in trouble your friendly OC would organise a posting for you. Very catholic church eh
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Shelldrake
FM
FM
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Number of posts : 3001
Localisation : Camberley
Cap Badge : Royal Artillery
Places Served : Troon, Lippstadt, Devizes, NI, Paderborn, Dortmund, Colchester, Belize, Canada, Cyprus, Gutersloh
Registration date : 2010-10-26

PostSubject: Re: Trying to find   24/11/2010, 09:18

I undestand that relationships often break down and for whatever reason the partners don't wish to have anything to do with each other. What I can't understand is the selfishness of a Mother who witholds information from a child about their Father. Surely it would be preferable for the child to make a decision about their Dad?
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jim
Let Gen
Let Gen
avatar

Number of posts : 1291
Localisation : Sutton Coldfield
Cap Badge : RAOC
Places Served : Dad, Hamburg, Bad Oeynhausen, Iserlohn, Bury, Osnabruck, Worcester. Me Detmold, Bielefeld, NI, HK
Registration date : 2008-01-03

PostSubject: Re: Trying to find   24/11/2010, 11:17

Quote :
What I can't understand is the selfishness of a Mother who witholds information from a child about their Father. Surely it would be preferable for the child to make a decision about their Dad?

I agree, the girls must have had some information about the father, surely. Certainly my German Girlfriends did about me.
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alan8376
Col
Col


Number of posts : 405
Age : 69
Localisation : Norfolk, UK
Cap Badge : REME
Places Served : Carlisle AAS, Aden, Hildesheim, Bordon, Fallingbostel, Dover, NI Tours, Osnabruck, Herford, Muenster, UN Nicosia, SBA Dhekellia Cyprus x2, Waterbeach, Civi Street 1988. Retired from VOSA 2007.
Registration date : 2009-07-28

PostSubject: Re: Trying to find   24/11/2010, 11:20

What about the Birth Certificate? Is he mentioned by name on either a German or British Certificate?

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Teabag
Maj Gen
Maj Gen
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Number of posts : 960
Age : 67
Localisation : Merseyside
Cap Badge : Royal Signals
Places Served : Wildenrath Detmold
Registration date : 2008-10-30

PostSubject: Re: Trying to find   24/11/2010, 11:56

Shelldrake wrote:
I undestand that relationships often break down and for whatever reason the partners don't wish to have anything to do with each other. What I can't understand is the selfishness of a Mother who witholds information from a child about their Father. Surely it would be preferable for the child to make a decision about their Dad?

I can understand it to a certain degree going back to the second war when it still had a stigma attached but not these days.

In the case of my friends wife, her mother told her what she knew but it was like getting blood out of a stone.

Looking at some of the ones on this forum, it appears that they do know names but not much else. Probably things like F Troop 2 Sqn 21st Signal Regt don't mean much to foreigners (Russian intelligence apart), especially when you are a young girl and madly in love with a handsome British soldier/airman. I use the word handsome loosely.
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Themaadone
Maj
Maj
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Number of posts : 270
Localisation : Near London
Cap Badge : RAOC/RLC/AGC
Places Served : Bielefeld, Guetersloh, Viersen, Bracht, Falklands, Aldershot, Leconsfield, NI, Rwanda, Croatia, Bosnia, Kosovo, Afghanistan
Registration date : 2010-09-02

PostSubject: Re: Trying to find   24/11/2010, 14:34

Look at it from a different angle...

German girl meets squaddie in bar or nightclub

Get to know each other over 4 or 5 months

girl gets pregnant

John (6 foot, wide shoulders and a tash) vanishes shortly - promise I'll keep in touch or... simply gone!

Girl has name, JOHN, maybe even surname but do you really think girls, german at that, know what REME, RCT, Black Watch or ACC is?

Stupid little things on both sides chaps
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Les Pattenden
Col
Col
avatar

Number of posts : 473
Age : 71
Localisation : Hampshire
Cap Badge : RCT
Places Served : Aldershot, Marchwood, Longmoor, Dusseldorf,Munster,Ratingen,Longmoor
Registration date : 2011-11-12

PostSubject: Re: Trying to find   12/11/2011, 23:54

Totally agree, can' be anything worse than not having any idea of your past, I have been doing my family tree for years and luckily have not come across such a problem, don't know how I would have got on otherwise
Les
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