map reading

once upon a time in Germany a very large exercise was taking place orders for battalion to leave camp @ 02.30 all makes and models you name it with wheels or tracks it was leaving.Off they go through the German countryside and little towns.Now they new where they were going and most of them knew the way,going through little village driver leading the way with some CAPT map reading is told to turn left @ next junction "Er i think we turn right sir",
"no cpl turn left".
"are you sure sir"
"of course i can read a bloody map, now turn left if you please"
"ok... here goes"
YOU KNOW WHATS COMING
400yrds down pretty little street DEAD END!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nowhere to go "Bloody hell cpl why have you brought us down here?"
"you said left sir"
"never mind what i said, just get us out of here"

"what about the rest SIR look behind you"
" OH SHIT"
By now the German residence are out in force along with German police and Red Caps
a lot of red faces that night and a lot of guy laughing their tits off

this was told me by a mate in 1RWF

Someone once said that the most dangerous weapon in the British Army is a young officer with a map.

I was once a wrong turning near Seenybridge training area, and had the whole packet follow me (as they do! not following the map themselves LoL) A quick look at the map and a [tight] shortcut though a residential area had me back on track, but at the first stop over it looked like I had overtook the 2 packets ahead of me! Hay Ho I still got away with it, till I was grassed up by those following me... upshot was they got extras for NOT map reading. Result.

I led a packet into a tram terminus in Krefeld. There was only one way out, the way I had used to get in. Many bemused Krefelder tram passengers glaring from their trams. Another packet had followed also. Most if not all had not even unrolled their own maps but it did not stop them chowing at me. As we had trailers attached to most vehicles and in view of the congestion we had caused, most trailers had to be uncoupled and manhandled out of the terminus and then recoupled.

It was a scene reminiscent of a Laurel and Hardy movie.

Goldmohur, did they call the Krefeld Kops?

Can`t remember about the Police. I can remember and always will my embarrassment and the looks on the faces of the civilian multitudes sitting quietly within their trams. Also I remember my fury when I retorted to the ridicule by remarkng that my colleauges had all willingly followed me into the terminus despite the obvious absurdity of the manouvre to turn into it. And then to notice them surrepticiously extracting their own maps and routecards from under their backsides on the cab seats.

We also had a game.With apologies to our former RMP members, we used to compete to get the nearest misses on RMP lads on traffic control duties at remote crossroads. The object was to see who could make the hapless JNCO jump furthest as we "accidentally" nearly clipped them with the truck fender.

I do remember the near misses on traffic duty,some deliberate, some not. The best map reading I ever saw was on a large FTX in 1971. I was a young Lcpl and placed on a stategic cross roads. The whole Brigade would come pass my location that night,according to my Platoon Sargeant, I was in for a busy time. A day later I was picked up, "Where have you been he asked"? Here where you dropped me off I thought to myself. I hadn't seen a soul. Failure in map reading skills were not just a "Rupert" skill.

I always felt sorry for those young RMP guys stuck out at remote locations like that.

I did feel a pang of sorrow as the isolated RMP lad was compelled to jump but the attitude was ingrained I`m afraid and it relieved the tedium. I was a Corporal and I did not drive and indeed failed the tick test in BAOR deliberately so as not to be lumbered. But it did put me automatically in the map reading seat of the lead truck. I suppose the fact that most of my colleagues did not even unroll their own maps must be regarded as some sort of tribute! Ausfahrt was indeed a big place!

We also had the services of the RMP to get us out of the city and onto and safely down the Autobahn.

As with most here, we had Quicktrains in due season. On one occasion our CO (RA) got in in trouble because of our slow response.

His remedy was to order "local" Quicktrains off his own bat. Of course, we had no way of telling which were home made and which were Pukka. For the home grown ones the RMP would be posted about 2 Ausfahrts down the way and we got quite used to finding them cheerfully signalling to us to leave and return to the Barracks. It became quite a game. The timings for getting on the road dropped remarkably. But the main reason for the improving times was the fact that we were hiding heavy lift gear and our own stuff so that we could quickly start up and get going. This was brilliant until the time came that we jumped in, started up, trundled down the Autobahn to find the RMP standing by their motorbikes at the usual spot but waving us on and on. Consequently we arrived in our first wooded location next morning with cam nets but no food, water, bedding etc, not to mention the gear that was needful for the unit to perform.

"QUICKTRAIN", blimey, I'd clean forgotten THAT blast from the past !

It was fun when they happened at night or early morning,and half the regiment were pissed out of their minds.Happy daze

What, you mean, the guys would be drinking beforehand, Gordon??

When I was stationed in Berlin 76-78 they were called "Ex Rocking Horse". This involved the RMP driving around the MQ's with sirens on and announcing over the tannoy system it was time "To get butts" out of bed and report in. We didn't seem very popular at these times. It was also about the only time that if you could stand up, you were fit enough to drive. It had to be that way,otherwise we'd have never got anywhere. Provided you didn't hit anything,every-body was happy.

I remembe a Quick Train in the 60's up in the Deilinghofen area. The Germans were calling out there lads as we were for the Canadians. On some streets the German and Canadian soldiers would work as a team and point out houses that need waking up to the other soldier on their side of the street. Gave thought to some folks why a Canadian or German soldier was doing the wake up for them.

I didn't realise that we worked in conjunction with the Germans of Quick Train? That didn't happen in 20 Bde, though I suppose 21 Panzer may have been called out the same time as us.

In the Eighties it was changed to "Active Edge", I reckon that the Russkies must have worked out the code for "Quick Train"!

gallahad wrote:

Someone once said that the most dangerous weapon in the British Army is a young officer with a map.

Actually it should read: TWO young officers trying to read a map. (That went for the Canadian Army as well.)

recce83 wrote:

gallahad wrote:

Someone once said that the most dangerous weapon in the British Army is a young officer with a map.

Actually it should read: TWO young officers trying to read a map. (That went for the Canadian Army as well.)

To quote a young officer just showing up at the Command Post (very late) , " I wasn't lost, just wasn't sure where I was". Reply by the C.P. officer, " You were lost, now F##k off ".

Quote :

To quote a young officer just showing up at the Command Post (very late) , " I wasn't lost, just wasn't sure where I was". Reply by the C.P. officer, " You were lost, now F##k off "

LOL, I like it.