Not quite the occurence book but near enough:

I just remembered how much the RSM didn't laugh when he got my guard report that said I'd lost one of the guard. Lad went out on midnight to two and never came back, we searched his complete beat and could not find him so I informed the orderly officer and noted it in the report.
Just after nine the next morning as I was telling the RSM all about it and he was being his usual sympathetic self the report came in the missing guard had been found....asleep in the coffee room in RHQ with his pickhelve across the arms of the G plan chair supporting his elbows which were in turn supporting his chin. He got a few extras for that one and was discharged a year later with Narcolepsy, I was reminded not to loose any men every bloody time I was guard commander for the next year or so.

We once did a site guard at Berlabeck (near Detmold) a tragically boring duty the highlight of which was an unexpected visit from the orderly officer who had come down from Barker Barracks (Paderborn) to visit us, how nice! He was a fresh faced second lieutenant who was keen as mustard, as they are. The guard commander showed him into the picket room where the lads were watching a film, a porn film obviously. On seeing the film he looked rather uncomfortable, after several seconds one of the lads said 'do you speak German sir? well yes a little, why? came the reply, the question asker pointed at the screen as a young lady yelled Yaa Yaa and innocently asked 'what's she saying then'?

He didn't visit again.

He didn't speak that sort of German then Wilf !.

Not in the Occurrence book, but in the Comms Log. A favourite on being relieved of duty was to note, " Cpl/Signalman Jones took over the Bde Adm Det and appears to be sober". Thank goodness log books were done in pencil, so could be corrected.

I still think you can't beat being locked into Bde HQ from 1700 on Friday evening to 0800 on Monday morning. The only distraction was the bleeps from the comcen bringing you priority and flash signals and cold food from the cookhouse. What a night mare, and because we only had 5 clerks on the roster, ie CPL's and below you were guaranteed it once a month, that plus copious 1 night duties as well.

i once did a 48 hr shift over christmas,My only comforts were members of the WRAF bringing me ale and an assortment of tit bits.It was a hard life in Singapore...sigh!