Sprechen sie Deutsche?

Das ist sehr gut mien fruend ja ja ja  

zwei beer bitter , jigger jigger , cotalet mitt katoffle salat , burpppppp,

To all German nationals and German speakers, my apologies !

Ein bissien Deutche sprache... aber can denke ich kn in der Bierstube ein getrank und ein stramamx fur essen.... aber... ab er...... ein Bier bitte please, Herr Ober......!  

brum wrote:

To all German nationals and German speakers, my apologies !

Might have writ this before.......... if so, ich bitte um Verzeihung ,too ....

First week in Osnabruck one of our lot from Barnsley went in a pub on his jack, asked for a pint of bitter & got a meat pie, or something similar. Thought it was a dirty trick the locals played on Brits.

Ich nahm an einer grundlegenden Deutsch Sprachkurs und der Lehrer sagte, ich sollte lernen Englisch zuerst

cartav wrote:

brum wrote:

To all German nationals and German speakers, my apologies !

Might have writ this before.......... if so,  ich bitte um Verzeihung ,too ....

First week in Osnabruck one of our lot from Barnsley went in a pub on his jack, asked for a pint of bitter & got a meat pie, or something similar. Thought it was a dirty trick the locals played on Brits.  

Thought of another one too, this time Hameln based. Bar person asked us to help, did one of our lot on an adjcacent table really want 28 soups ( acht und zwanzig Suppe ). Question were asked.......... No, he'd had oxtail soup before and wanted it again ( Ochsenshwanze Suppe ).

Taught by the famous Frau Jackboots in the Ed centre in York Barracks in the 80s.She caught me asleep in one lesson and asked, in German -Was I enjoying the course. My reply-"Es tut mir egal"
She never forgave me,but I passed the course

Harry McGrory Ein Beir 14 times please

16 Oct 1964 just fresh of the plane in Dusseldorf, on the bus to Deilinghofen.

1st lesson. Box lunch made with British Army bread. Hmmm

2nd lesson. Bus stops at a rest stop. We all troop in to the washroom doors. Did I mention we had no vets from previous tours, except a Sgt who had last been in Germany in 45/46. We look at the the doors H and D. What one do we go through? Ask old Sgt. He says, " Krips I don't know, there was only wreckage when I was here last. We just went where ever". He looks at the two doors and says His and Dis. So it's His to try out. As you'll notice he was lucky and correct.

Hardrations wrote:

16 Oct 1964 just fresh of the plane in Dusseldorf, on the bus to Deilinghofen.

1st lesson. Box lunch made with British Army bread. Hmmm

2nd lesson. Bus stops at a rest stop. We all troop in to the washroom doors. Did I mention we had no vets from previous tours, except a Sgt who had last been in Germany in 45/46. We look at the the doors H and D. What one do we go through? Ask old Sgt. He says, " Krips I don't know, there was only wreckage when I was here last. We just went where ever". He looks at the two doors and says His and Dis. So it's His to try out. As you'll notice he was lucky and correct.

Damen is the ladies and Herren is the mens, he got lucky:lol!: 

Eric England wrote:

Hardrations wrote:

16 Oct 1964 just fresh of the plane in Dusseldorf, on the bus to Deilinghofen.

1st lesson. Box lunch made with British Army bread. Hmmm

2nd lesson. Bus stops at a rest stop. We all troop in to the washroom doors. Did I mention we had no vets from previous tours, except a Sgt who had last been in Germany in 45/46. We look at the the doors H and D. What one do we go through? Ask old Sgt. He says, " Krips I don't know, there was only wreckage when I was here last. We just went where ever". He looks at the two doors and says His and Dis. So it's His to try out. As you'll notice he was lucky and correct.

Damen is the ladies and Herren is the mens, he got lucky:lol!: 

I knew that. 

Shelldrake wrote:

Eric England wrote:

Hardrations wrote:

16 Oct 1964 just fresh of the plane in Dusseldorf, on the bus to Deilinghofen.

1st lesson. Box lunch made with British Army bread. Hmmm

2nd lesson. Bus stops at a rest stop. We all troop in to the washroom doors. Did I mention we had no vets from previous tours, except a Sgt who had last been in Germany in 45/46. We look at the the doors H and D. What one do we go through? Ask old Sgt. He says, " Krips I don't know, there was only wreckage when I was here last. We just went where ever". He looks at the two doors and says His and Dis. So it's His to try out. As you'll notice he was lucky and correct.

Damen is the ladies and Herren is the mens, he got lucky:lol!: 

I knew that. 

Hehe visit china and choose which toilet to use; this one 女士厕所 or this one 男装厕所?

Easy - the one on the right!  

Shelldrake wrote:

Easy - the one on the right!  

Be honest you googled it:lol!: 

Moi? How very dare you?

Shelldrake wrote:

Moi?   How very dare you?

You asking an ex soldier this?? 

 

On my last trip over to Holland (Netherlands my friend Nic reminds me) I found it amazingly easy to get along in Dutch. You simply reply to or ask any question by first saying, " I hope your English is better than my Dutch". Generaly it seems to work most times.

depends how you slide down the bannister , ginger

One of those experts who drowns worms on the end of a line for sport won a competition in the local press. The prize was a trip to Holland to fish in the canals,  the fishing correspondent went along to hold his hand and pay the bill.  They stopped  for a beer  on the way but when they emerged from t'pub they couldn't remember how to get back to the car. Educated reporter tried his best German sprache out on a local who gave detailed directions.   Fisherman asked " Did 'e tell thee where t' car is ?",  local informant hears something like a familiar tongue and stops in his tracks.  His English was immaculate when he queried whether not the pair were German.    Being assured that they were Brits, he apologised and pointed them in the opposite  direction.  
                           ....................................................................................

Some few years back latest lady & I were in Switzerland, she was desperate to replace the  shower cap which she had forgotten to pack.  We found a chemist but, unsure whether the local speak was French or German, we played safe and tried both.  " Spricht Mann Deutsch oder Parlez vous Francais ?"  was dragged out from memory.  The shop girl was confused.  "Better speak English " she said,  " then I can understand what you say".

On road duty during an exercise north of Flensburg a English car pulled up next to me and tried to
ask in German , If they were in Denmark as they had seen many cars with D country plate on the back of cars.

In the '80s in Glasgow a German Sailor was arrested for being drunk and disorderly.   The following morning he was arraigned before the Magistrate at Glasgow Central Court to answer the charge:-

Magistrate:   "What is your name?"

G.S:             "Es tut mir leid aber ich spreche kein Englische".


Magistrate:    "Is there anyone in Court today who speaks German?"


Wee Glesca:    "Aye, ah speak German"
Keelie:    

Magistrate:    "Come down here and translate for me".   "Ask the defendant his name".

W.G.K.           Jabs his forefinger in the German Sailors chest and shouts "VOT IS YOUR NAME?"

True story, the German Sailor was fined for being drunk and disorderly, the Wee Glasgow Keelie was sentenced to 14 days for Contempt of Court.

KIeler sprotten wrote:

On road duty during an exercise north of Flensburg a English car pulled up next to me and tried to
ask in German , If they were in Denmark as they had seen many cars with D country plate on the back of cars.

It must have been '64-'65, the "Three and Eights" took over from the "Shiny Ten" in Paderborn.
Our (Yorkie), next door neighbour, in Raabe Str., was a Conqueror driver.
Where you ERE by then ?