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 A bit of Fun... Officers Fitness Reports...

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unclevanya
Maj
Maj
avatar

Number of posts : 226
Age : 72
Localisation : Essex UK
Cap Badge : R Sigs
Places Served : 11 Sigs Vimy 'C' Catterick Nov 1963), 224 (Radio) Sig Squadron Garrats Hey, Quorn Leics( Jan-June 1964), 16 Sigs Bradbury Barracks Krefeld July-Oct 1964), 28 (BR) Sigs St Tonis & 4 Squadron, Tongeren (Cafe Maddy) (1964-1968), HQ UNFICYP Nicosia 6 month tour (1966), HMS Jufair & Hamala Camp Bahrien, 223 Sig Sqn (Radio) Winchester, Norn Ireland, HQ Northag Kolsas Olso Norway, 11 Sigs Helles Lines Catterick, Civvy Street 1977, Retired (Grumpy Victor Meldrew 2012)
Registration date : 2012-07-15

PostSubject: A bit of Fun... Officers Fitness Reports...   13/5/2013, 17:41

The British Military writes OFR's (officer fitness reports). The form used
for Royal Navy and Marines fitness reports is the S206. The following are
actual excerpts taken from people's "206's"....

- His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of curiosity.

- I would not breed from this Officer.

- This Officer is really not so much of a has-been,
but more of a definitely won't-be.

- When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change
whichever foot was previously in there.

- He has carried out each and every one of his duties to his entire
satisfaction.

- He would be out of his depth in a car park puddle.

- Technically sound, but socially impossible.

- This Officer reminds me very much of a gyroscope - always spinning around
at a frantic pace, but not really going anywhere.

- This young lady has delusions of adequacy.

- When he joined my ship, this Officer was something of a granny; since then
he has aged considerably.

- This Medical Officer has used my ship to carry his genitals from port to
port, and my officers to carry him from bar to bar.


- Since my last report he has reached rock bottom, and has started to dig.

- She sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve
them.

- He has the wisdom of youth, and the energy of old age.

- This Officer should go far - and the sooner he starts, the better.

- In my opinion this pilot should not be authorized to fly below 250 feet.

- The only ship I would recommend this man for is citizenship.

- Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a
trap

- This man is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

- Only occasionally wets himself under pressure Shocked
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"john boy"
Maj Gen
Maj Gen
avatar

Number of posts : 939
Age : 54
Localisation : shrewsbury
Cap Badge : acc
Places Served : aldershot/albermarle bks ouston-father LI- gib- berlin NI- lemgo- colchester- shrewsbury-tidworth left82
Registration date : 2010-12-30

PostSubject: Re: A bit of Fun... Officers Fitness Reports...   14/5/2013, 09:13

http://www.paddyjokes.com/ lol! enjoy
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Chemist
SSgt/CSgt
SSgt/CSgt
avatar

Number of posts : 61
Registration date : 2012-10-24

PostSubject: Re: A bit of Fun... Officers Fitness Reports...   14/5/2013, 09:31

This officer has spent his career pushing on doors marked "pull"
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brum
FM
FM


Number of posts : 2808
Age : 76
Localisation : Sandbach Cheshire
Cap Badge : RA/QOH
Places Served : JLRRA (Hereford) Nienburg Paderborn Colchester Munster Maresfield (Cyprus) Hohne Hemer Op Banner x4 Woolwich
Registration date : 2010-03-02

PostSubject: Re: A bit of Fun... Officers Fitness Reports...   14/5/2013, 21:29

Deleted
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Shelldrake
FM
FM
avatar

Number of posts : 2989
Localisation : Camberley
Cap Badge : Royal Artillery
Places Served : Troon, Lippstadt, Devizes, NI, Paderborn, Dortmund, Colchester, Belize, Canada, Cyprus, Gutersloh
Registration date : 2010-10-26

PostSubject: Re: A bit of Fun... Officers Fitness Reports...   15/5/2013, 14:08

brum wrote:
Deleted



Who was? Rolling Eyes Rolling Eyes
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Hardrations
Let Gen
Let Gen
avatar

Number of posts : 1026
Localisation : Winnipeg Manitoba Canada
Cap Badge : RC Sigs (RTG Op) / CF Logistics (Cook)
Places Served : Germany, Egypt, Cyprus, CFS Alert and some other strange places
Registration date : 2007-12-16

PostSubject: Re: A bit of Fun... Officers Fitness Reports...   16/5/2013, 01:03

This officer will continualy make all those around him appear to be smarter in appearance and knowledge.
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Shelldrake
FM
FM
avatar

Number of posts : 2989
Localisation : Camberley
Cap Badge : Royal Artillery
Places Served : Troon, Lippstadt, Devizes, NI, Paderborn, Dortmund, Colchester, Belize, Canada, Cyprus, Gutersloh
Registration date : 2010-10-26

PostSubject: Re: A bit of Fun... Officers Fitness Reports...   16/5/2013, 08:27

Lt Smythe-Browne is very consistent, he fails at everything he does.
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Eric England
Maj
Maj
avatar

Number of posts : 232
Age : 64
Localisation : China
Cap Badge : REME 1972 - 1984
Places Served : Arborfield, Deepcut Camberley 25 Lt Regt Catterick/NI, 4 Lt Regt Catterick/NI, 655 Sqn AAC Detmold, QRIH Padderbon, 9/12 Lancers Muenster, 655 Tank Tptr Sqn Fallingbostel, HQ REME 3rd Armd Div Korbecke, SEE Arborfield, HQ REME Trg Center Arborfield.
Registration date : 2013-04-22

PostSubject: Re: A bit of Fun... Officers Fitness Reports...   16/5/2013, 08:53

LOL, very good lol!
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bikergoth
Cpl
Cpl


Number of posts : 14
Age : 59
Localisation : UK
Cap Badge : REME 1975 - 1988
Places Served : Arbourfield, SEME, 16 tank Tptr Sqn, 1 Queens/1 BW LAD, BATUS Wksp, 174 Provo Coy LAD, 27 Command Wksp, 22 AD Regt LAD
Registration date : 2017-01-08

PostSubject: Re: A bit of Fun... Officers Fitness Reports...   18/1/2017, 21:53

Just checked out the 'Paddy jokes' site recommended by John Boy. Thank you SO much - my sides are hurting...!
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