"Swing those arms shoulder high you fat, pompous corporal!"

'Tis late o' clock again. Monday morning fruh, and I is bored......

I had a thought came into my head, it still gives me the cold sweats... RSM's Drill Parades once a month on a Saturday mornings, followed by CO's inspections of accommodation blocks etc.

The evening before spend on 'Interior Economy', Hmm, wonder who invented that term for it. A general intense bullsh*te session to make the barrack blocks look all shiny, shiny for the Colonel the next day. Making up bed packs the night before, polishing and bumpering the barrack rooms, cleaning the ablutions and toilets (woe betide that stray pubic hair that might be found in a urinal). Now that was a disguting job, scraping the urinals with a razor blade or a knife blade.

Polishing brasses on 38 patern webbing belts, along with all the blancoing. Pressing of No 2's with razor creases etc in them. Polishing and bulling 'Best Boots' for the mornings RSM drill parade. All goes well, nobody scrounges off, everyone mucks in to get the places looking greeeat!!"

The next morning comes, many of the lads have slept on the floor by, or under their beds so as not to disturb the bed packs/blocks. The early morning rising to get washed, shaved and polished to look shiny, shined. A general rush to the Cookhouse for a good bearkfast. Nobody will puke up on the Drill Square for we had all foresworn an evenings boozing in the NAAFI Bar. The dressing in super creased No 2's and Best Boots. The 'bunch backs" to get the tunic jacket sitting right with the belts. Oh all so fiddly, even the Troop OC, a Captain, is panicking a bit, along with Troop Sgt and Squadron SSM.

Then we are all on the hallowed drill ground that only the RSM 'owns'. Forming up in squads, then marcihing off swinging those arms shoulder high. Everything was going well.... "Bags of swank, bags of swank!" screams the RSM.

Then it all goes pear shaped as the Tara picks on me. His beady eyes have spotted my fallolloping along like I was Captain Mainwaring.... "Hey, you, yes you... in the second row... you you big, fat pompous corporal!! What do you think your dooooooooooooing.............!"

It was then I woke up, in a muck sweat, and realised that it was all a bad dream. The last time I took part in an RSM's Drill Parade was in 1967 at 28 (BR) Signals Regiment, St Tonis. And that was a very, very long time ago.

I did bump into a retired R Sigs RSM some years ago and he was human after all. A very nice bloke, retired now like me. I still occasionally feel a bit of an inferiority complex when I speak to him, as I was only a Lance Corporal when I was at 28 Sigs Regt back in 1967.

Does anyone else have weird dreams about their Army days, and RSM's etc......, or should I go and see the Quack for something to 'make it all go away'..... Yes, I know, a nice mug of cocoa before beddy byes... Hmm, yes, thats it!!

Not weird dreams unclevanya. Nightmares

Not me, I loved all that stuff!!

Oh yes! I have similar dreams often! Usually it is around similar situations. My worst one is forgetting to go on guard duty or the miday practise parade.....

One thing about the British Army.............it is so good at bullsh*t.I suppose the hossifers needed something to occupy their minds with. RSM's parade when I was stationed in Plymouth was great folks.We had an RSM who was extremely funny, believe it or not, he was Welsh.We were stationed in Seaton Bks and those who might know it,the barrack square looked onto the main road to Dartmoor with a big lay-by beside the square which could and did take a couple of coaches.The coach drivers knew when we would be doing drill on the square and they would pull in with their coach full to the brim with tourists.We were all dressed in kilt order a few times and the RSM knew how to get the tourists to take photographs of the Jocks.He would march us up in extended line and make us mark time in front of the tourists.The looks on the those tourists faces when they saw the kilts riding high made them swoon with delight and they applauded the Jocks,(Must have been a few Americans among them).Sadly,Seaton Bks is a housing estate now.Plymouth was a good posting for the battalion as quite a few of the lads married girls from there.It was in Plymouth that we had learned that the battalion was to be disbanded and shortly after that the campaign to 'SAVE THE ARGYLLS' started which resulted in the MOD and the new government to reduce the regiment to company strength rather than disbandment for about a year and a bit then we were reformed to battalion strength in 1972.I came back from Singapore to rejoin the battalion.

And now they are to become a ceremonial company...Shame

Gordon,Ceremonial Company is only a cover for those idiots at the Ministry of Dafties (MOD).The Argyll Coy will be used for all the shi**y jobs going and to top up those troops that will be used on active service wherever.Who on earth wants to join a former fighting unit that has been involved in nearly all campaigns around the world since WW2 to stand outside Edinburgh Castle or Holyrood House when her maj comes visiting every year.That is what the Guards are for and they have five battalions. Why didn't they disband a couple of there battalions and keep the Argylls, because it is all politics.The guy that sealed the fate of the Argylls was in fact an Argyll when he and other senior members (Generals) of the Scottish Division agreed to form the new RR of Scotland.It was only a matter of time.When we see BAOR/BFG/RAFG closing down and moving back to the UK no doubt we will see more line regiments and Corps being disbanded.But never mind we have the Salvation Army, The Scouts , The Cadet Forces, The Girl Guides , and everyones favourite the Territorials or should I say the part-timers who will volunteer their services to defend us from whoever wants to harm us.

rucjock21 I was stationed there from 68 in The R Citadel we spent a lot of time away at sea then 1969 off to Singapore. Back in 1971, so remember seeing lads from the Argyles around the city pubs and clubs

Dee Z, Yes the Jocks would be very active around the city especially Union Street and the big NAAFI. There were some really good pubs in Plymouth and we were welcomed by the landlords but unfortunately there were a few incidents where the Jocks shamed themselves by causing trouble.The Shore patrols and the MP's were always lifting the troublesome Jocks but over all they were accepted by the locals.Friction between the Marines and the Jocks were commonplace and again the poor Navy lads suffered as well.Yes Plymouth was a nice place to be stationed.

I remember it well ,awakened by the music from the regimental band , it was Balaclave day
Parade . We had a good night on the town , and I was fast asleep in our immaculate barrack room. All of the beds and full kit lay out looked good. Think it took about 5 mins to dress and cover my bed. on this day I was lucky No one missed me at roll call and no one came to inspect our barrack room.