Nicht Spreche der Deutsche

Compared to Supermarkets in the UK ( even today) you could buy absolutely everything under one roof , and at a good price. A bit like Wal-Mart in the US. One stop shopping!
Back then funds were low I had a Nissan Cherry and bought an exhaust and took it into the workshops to fit it myself.Bought the wife a hoover , a little Phillips Cylinder in cost about DM20 which was about £5 back then we had it for years before it gave up the ghost.Toasters , irons ect.For some reason it worked out cheaper than buying from the NAAFI.

And of course ,at first , we pronounced the name of that shopping centre,RATIO in Muenster, just outside of Buller Bks as Ray-shure, until we realise that it is Rat-Zee -O. I bought a blanket from there in 1968/69.It has followed and comfort me on every exercise in Germany, UK and Denmark. I still have it ,and occasionally used it on those nights,when the temperature here drops to 78/79degrees.

bob wrote:

Compared to Supermarkets in the UK ( even today) you could buy absolutely everything under one roof , and at a good price. A bit like Wal-Mart in the US. One stop shopping!
Back then funds were low I had a Nissan Cherry and bought an exhaust and took it into the workshops to fit it myself.Bought the wife a hoover , a little Phillips Cylinder in cost about DM20 which was about £5 back then we had it for years before it gave up the ghost.Toasters , irons ect.For some reason it worked out cheaper than buying from the NAAFI.

And probably superior quality!!

The only downside to our purchasing toasters, irons, etc. was the voltage issue once we got back to Canada (220 vs 110). In fact, my parents always had a stock of converter plugs, clumsy looking things, so Dad's electric razor (Canadian/US made and bought) could work in Europe and I seem to recall a few things, like the mantle radio we bought and which mom had for 40 years after, had to be re-figured or some such upon our return to Canada.

When bob mentioned toasters it reminded me of those electric coils one could stick into a tin of water to bring it to a quick boil. Much faster than boiling up a kettle on the stove. We brought one back, again with the converter plug thingy, and Mom got many comments about it from civilian friends, many of who were shocked (ha! no pun intended!!!) that she'd stick an open coil into water!!! Of course, it wasn't merely an "open coil" (although it looked like one) and it was designed specifically for the purpose of fast boiling water.

Another thing she brought back, and something I had for many years as well (now lost along with everything else) was what she called her "German Washing Machine")...a long wood-handled brass bell, with perforations, and a plunging action to the bell, made up of two parts -- an outer hood and an inner bell with the perforations.

One would use it in a vat of soaking clothes, plunging it up and down to agitate the water and press the dirt etc out of the clothes. Actually quite a thing of beauty with high quality brass.

Then there's the classic Halt oder Ich Scheisse. Freudian slip?

Teabag wrote:

Then there's the classic Halt oder Ich Scheisse. Freudian slip?

Probably most of us learn our first German words as kids from war comics and movies. Achtung, Hande Hoch!, Ya Wohl.

teabag

You're talking shit mate !

Teabag, great slip there!

Gallahad, I remember the 'War Comics' as well. "Achtung, Handehoch" and "Himmelgott" spring to mind.

Alan

Funny how certain phrases stick with you....for years my mother, when she got mildly pissed about something, would mutter "scheisse!" I do as well. "Gott in Himmel" is another favourite and sometimes "Ach der lieber!" My tendency to use "Oy vey" quite a bit comes from a whole other tradition! LOL

Mom often also used to use "Oopla" instead of "oops"...especially if a child tripped or bang its head or something along those lines, like "oopla" was a more sympathetic version of "oops"....sort of like "oopsie" without the cutsie....

Picking up on something Bob said last week.
We were under canvas, camped just up the valley from Oberammergau, (but that's another story !). An Education Corps officer sat us all together and said, "this is Bavaria, they don't say "Guten Tag" etc. like the Germans do. Round here they say "Gruss Gott", it's like "Ciaou" or "Shalom", just a general term of greeting. He went on to make us purse our lips while saying "grease" to get the pronuciation right. With that in mind when we were out and about later we tried a few "Gruss Gotts" and it's true, they took the trouble to listen to what we were trying to say. I think the Germans were happy to have we Auslanders among them so long as we made the effort to blend in a bit.

We spend some time 'up north' near Cuxhaven and there 'Guten Morgan' is 'Moin' and 'Guten Tag' is 'Moin Moin'...the local radio station Bremen Eins (fantastic) has the local news in the morning in 'Plattdeutsche' sounds like Dutch and was spoken in the old days!
Cheers
Steve

"Oopalla" has so long been part of my personal vocabulary that I had not given thought as to its origin, until now. I see that, correctly, it should be "hoppla" meaning "Whoops!" and therefore I must have sub conconsciously acquired it during my BAOR days.

Steve,
We holiday in Juist every year,so we know what you mean.The Germans in general like to take the mickey out of them up North,country yokel like,but I can tell you there are no flies on them!!!!
-----
Don

A few more German sprecht memories.

There was a time when we lived in Iserlohn when some German kids used to come to the fence at the bottom of our garden and shout,

”Eine, zwei, drei, vier, du bist bala bala oben hier”

In response we smiled and wandered what the hell they wanted.

A record frequently played on Asters claimed to give you all the German you would ever need – I’ll leave this for you to decide.
The Chorus went something like . . .

”Danker shon, bitte shon, Wiedersehen, noch ein Bier, kommen sie hier, großße und kleine und nicht verstehen, I wish I could sprechensie Deutsche – oitch oitch !”

Rumour has it that a certain German Bar owner in Hemer gave young squaddies a piece of card telling them that if they got into trouble with the Polizei to read out the card the best they could and they would be put in a taxi and sent back to camp.

The card read : -

“Das toot meer lite arber ich bin noor ein blurdisher auslander
toon sie mit meer, vas see vun chun.”

When we returned to the Uk long enough for us to own a telly it was to my dismay that I learned that John Wayne was American, I thought he was German and like the actors in Skippy, Lassie, Get Smart etc, they all had problems with their mouths – doh.

brum wrote:

teabag

You're talking shit mate !

Shoot or shit? If some nasty man was shooting at me I am not sure what I would do?

Was said though when we were guarding the relay site at Roetgen (sp?) down near the Belgium border. We were actually trusted with live ammunition and made to read that from the card. Thankfully it wasn't me that mispronounced it though.

steve wrote:

We spend some time 'up north' near Cuxhaven and there 'Guten Morgan' is 'Moin' and 'Guten Tag' is 'Moin Moin'...the local radio station Bremen Eins (fantastic) has the local news in the morning in 'Plattdeutsche' sounds like Dutch and was spoken in the old days!
Cheers
Steve

We have friends up that way in Brake and they use Plattdeutsche regularly plus perform in plays that only use that dialect. A lot milder form of German and of course you can "hear" the Dutch in it.

Teabag wrote:

steve wrote:

We spend some time 'up north' near Cuxhaven and there 'Guten Morgan' is 'Moin' and 'Guten Tag' is 'Moin Moin'...the local radio station Bremen Eins (fantastic) has the local news in the morning in 'Plattdeutsche' sounds like Dutch and was spoken in the old days!
Cheers
Steve

We have friends up that way in Brake and they use Plattdeutsche regularly plus perform in plays that only use that dialect. A lot milder form of German and of course you can "hear" the Dutch in it.

Plattdeutsche my wifes first language always spoken in the home and still to be heard when meeting friends in church and the older folks. She was a hero to the Mennonites from Mexico and a Paraquay who came to Winnipeg to work as she was the school secretary where many of their children attended. Also there are varied dialects in Plattdeutsche with Mennonites from Mexico, Paraquay, Saskatchewan, etc. High German was to be used in church services and when first meeting new people. My mother in law while still alive got worried, when one day I corrected a subject they were discussing. She said," you are starting to understand this to well".

I always found it interesting that in a country the size of Germany (and here I am thinking of what we knew as West Germany) there was such a wide diversity in regards to dialect. West Germany really isn't much bigger than the province of Alberta in Canada, where I now reside, yet had dozens and dozens of markedly different dialects.

For instance, when I was returning to Canada after having worked in Soest for 14 months I spent about a week to 10 days in Lahr awaiting a flight home. I took the opportunity to hitchhike over the border to France in order to visit Strasbourg.

A fellow picked me up and, naturally,we fell into conversation. He had no difficulty understanding my Westphalian German tinged with a Canadian accent but I had a helluva time understanding his Black Forest German! The best way I can describe it was German with a "southern" accent!

I was also somewhat familiar with Plattedeutsch and yes, it had a strong Dutch/Flemish aspect to it.

Here in Alberta we do not have Mennonite colonies but we do have several Hutterite ones (Hutterites are, like Old Order Mennonites, Amish, etc. Anabaptists that adhere to 18th Century styles and are German, by way of Russian, in origin). They speak a form of German that is akin to Plattedeutsch as well, although many of them, the men especially, are quite fluent in English. I sometimes had occasion to interact and would speak German to them. Of course, my German was not their German and they quickly moved the conversation to English...just as well as on top of my German being unlike that which they spoke, I was only reasonably fluent and conversing about anything beyond superficial stuff was nigh impossible due to my own limitations.

One night while stationed in Detmold two of us went over to the carnival in Steinhem. The first pub I walked in, I was asked, "Sind sie ein fussball spieler." I hadn't a clue what was being asked. The second pub I entered the same very question was directed at me. Again I nodded in Ignorance. Before we made it into the third pub, I told my mate, "Shep, there must be something in this fussball spieler lark. As expected , I was hit with the question again,but this this I answered "Yah ,Yah." It so happened that Steinheim star football player was a West Indian,so , naturally they assumed that I was also a foot ball player . Shep appointed himself my manager,and they plied us with drinks all night.Getting back to Detmold is another story.

Not sure if the British bunch had this, but I remember during our first tour (59-62) there was a tongue-in-cheek (and somewhat cheeky) booklet available to assist military personnel to 'adapt' to their new environment, illustrated with rather pointy-headed, tow-headed, not terribly bright looking Typical Soldiers.

I don't remember all of it -- and I imagine much of it was likely far too adult for a 6 year old anyway -- but the one piece that does stick with me was the cartoon of a rather bemused looking soldier, sitting in a small cramped bathtub, his stubbly legs pulled up tight against his chest and his knees up around his jug ears. Of course it wasn't a "bathtub" at all but a bidet! Something Canadians were totally unfamiliar with back then (and still pretty much are!). I have no doubt more than a few thought this wonder of toilet hygiene was A) a foot bath B) a very odd urinal C) a most uncomfortable and rather cramped tub or C) G-d only knows what the hell that thing is used for. Of course, when we were told what it was used for it invariably elicited cries of "Eeeewwwww!!!!..." LOL

stephen,what ever the cheeky book said i dought it was any worse than the book which was given to me when i was sent to sardinia in 1973....i was really cheesed off when i was there and didnt get the chance to utter the words in italian for EXCUSE ME ,I APPEAR TO HAVE LEFT ONE OF MY CUFF LINKS IN MY HOTEL ROOM.the booklet was copyrited mod 1946.wish i had it now ,might be worth a few bob on ebay...graham...

Being Duty Driver I was tasked to drive up to Wildenrath or Brueggen (cant recall which) to pick up a young chap who had arrived fresh from the factory.

I helped the scrawny youngster place his bags into the back of the land rover before setting off in direction of Bielefeld.

After about an hour he said 'This towns big'. I said, what town.... His reply 'Ausfahrt'.....

Oh dear.

Although, as a natural German speaker I was often asked stuff like - how do I tell her she is beautiful etc - my stock answer was 'Du bist pot haesslich und ekelig' - translates to - you're pig ugly and horrible. Much to my amusment most were slapped or wore the girls drink.....

Themaadone....LOL -- there is a special place in hell for fellows who do this to their mates, you know! :-)

Let me guess....after your poor buddies struck out with the local females, and insulted them thanks to you! :-), I bet you swooped in, all consoling and commiserating with the girls who then, of course, thought you totally charming and YOU ended up scoring. Am I right? Uh, uh, am I, uh? LOL

The stories about the "town" of Ausfahrt being so huge, or being near the village of "Umleitung" and my story about residing at what-ever-number Einbahnstrasse are funny.

When my mother's parents came to visit us in Germany in 1970, my Nana (who was a genteel English lady who emulated the Queen Mother in just about everything. Nana would even change outfits from what she wore in the morning to what she would wear in the afternoon!!) was quite amused by the "Einfahrt" and "Ausfahrt" signs at the various attractions we took them to and had her photo taken under one. As many of us did, of course! You'd have to know my Nana to fully appreciate this....a blue (sometimes lavender)-rinse, soft spoken, genteel, well-mannered, Englishwoman from Salisbury originally. Not in the least "common" and usually horrified by anything vulgar or "common" (and, yes, she could be bit of a snob!). I'll tell you, her amusement at the "Fahrt" signs shocked me!! LOL

On that note of their visit. She and Papa had gone back to England for a visit (he was from Shropshire) so of course they made the relatively short trip over to Germany to visit us. Nana was by no stretch of the imagination or in any way "Pro-German" having grown up in UK during the First World War, or shortly thereafter. To her, Germans were "Huns" -- and that was on a good day!!

Mom made a point of introducing Nana and Papa to good German friends of ours, Pia and her mother who we always called Frau Bescher. Mom always said Frau Bescher reminded her so much of her mom in her mannerisms and approach to things. We spent a pleasant couple of hours sitting around their coffee table (the type you could crank up to full table height), drinking tea and munching on delicious German bake goods Frau Bescher had made, torte, etc.

Afterwards, as we drove back to our place, Nana did remark how nice they seemed. Oh yes, mom said, they've been very good to us. "Yes....why, they're just like us!" Nana said. Gee, ya think???? I don't know what she expected...maybe for Frau Bescher to appear in fishnet stockings, bustier and Nazi regalia? Who knows.....

Oh, on the odd occasion I did the dirty on my red cheeked pals.... They soon got used to my humour.

I remember that we, my parents, had a coffee table which, by turning the handle underneath the table would crank to dinner table height.

German furniture is so much superior - built to last

We had one of those coffee tables in our MQ in Bielefeld, they were good.

And, having grown up as a pad brat in Germany, speaking German had all sorts of bonuses.

when i was in my last few months at AAC Carlisle, we were asked where we would like to posted, i figured that as most people ended up in Germany anyway, id opt for it and hope i got a good posting. (I did, HQ 1 BR Corps LAD) . During that last few months an RAEC officer, capt brown i think, started doing german classes after work, night school, which i went to. his opening was, "my name is Capt brown, and thats the last english you will hear me speak" and from then on we managed in german, by pantomime, phrase book etc. he said dont worry about the grammer, just open your mouth and speak. and he was right. When i got to the LAD, first evening went along to the local pub and most of the lads were amazed i could order my own beer and food. i have to say that in those days the majority of squadies never bothered to learn, never straying far from familiar bars or the naafi. they missed out on so much. i have in later years lived in moscow and jakarta, and learned enough of each language to get by, as did my kids, it really is appreciated by the locals.