C*ck ups

After the success of my last thread, (even if it did go off tangent a few times) I think it is time for another one to keep the interest going.

Tell us about c*ck ups you know of or maybe experienced. Couple I know of and honest they didn't involve me apart from the last one which was in the UK anyway.

The guy who filled the radiator of a dirty great generator with oil instead of coolant, or was it the other way around? (21st Signal Regt)

The two guys arguing at Detmold as to whether aviation fuel would burn with a naked light, resulting in the loss of one expensive helicopter and some time in the nick.

The gunner or sapper chaps who still had secret equipment on board their 432 that had supposedly been destroyed months previously and had been signed as such. Go to jail do not collect 200 quid and lose your stripes Sarge.

The guy who nearly got us killed by adding oil to already mixed two stroke fuel for the outboard motor of an assault boat we were using to go up the east coast to the pub. Conked out and we ended up on some rather large rocks. Wrecked the boat resulting in a court of enquiry and a weekend ruined bringing the outboard back on a metal stretcher over said rocks. Some were the size of small houses. Amazing that no one was hurt never mind killed when we "beached".

Dress rehearsal for RAF 50th anniversary parade..Fly past 30 secs early or late,can`t remember which..I denied responsibility then even though a nice WRAF officer wanted my b**ls for earings.Why they couldn`t check their own clocks, I don`t know.

Not BAOR..Changi

C*ck up`s in Germany?????????????I don`t think i could live long enough to list them all

The Canadians didn't have any "c*ck ups"......

Hmmmmm

The recce Officer who got a grid ref wrong and nearly sent 20 bde HQ to a location over the border in the east.

in 1969 yet again we set off from bunde to the south of france on a six week excercise, having been before some of us knew the way but this time we had an officer in charge who was a right know all, as we approached the border we realised he was heading the wrong way not into france but into switzerland but of course he knew better he was in charge and the convoy was to follow his landrover just as we got towards the border a french police motorbike came roaring up and stopped uspointing the right way and stopping what would have been a embarassing incident,of course i could not let it go without taking this photo.




he was very quiet for the rest of the journey.

LOL, I like it, wish I had a camera at the East German border.

i hold my hands up to this cock up! whilst at tunis bks,lubbecke the few RCT drivers there had to do
duty driver or duty ambulance driver,i often did duty driver driving the doctor about but until this one
night i had never done duty ambulance it, was about 12 at night and i was called out to the married quarters
the doctor came out of the flat and told me a child was very poorly and needed to get to BMH Rinteln asap
i was to use the siren and lights and to waste no time.

about 5 minutes later i saw in my wing mirror them come out of the flat and go behind the ambulance i heard a bang taking it to be the
rear door of the ambulance and the doctor shout right driver,i set of like a rocket down minden strasse lights and siren wailing about 4 miles down the road i saw the
duty drivers mini behind so i went even faster,i got to the hospital and got out as the doctor duty driver pulled up with the two parents and the child in the back
yes you guessed it i had gone off without the patient, the duty driver was doubled up with laughter but the doctor was not amused,the back doors were locked
thats why they banged on the back, i kept a low profile for a few days.

That's hilarious oldtimer. Not for the poor kid though, hope he was okay.

Stephen Lock wrote:

The Canadians didn't have any "c*ck ups"......

Not really Steph. There was the RSM of a an Infantry Btn ( who shall remain unnamed) Who while on the parade square one day giving drill, spotted a lady walking by dressed in slacks. He shouted out to one of his Sgts., " I'll have no sluts in my camp dressed in trousers. Get her out of here." The said lady it turned out to be the wife of the 2i/c of a neighbouring unit. He was of course reprimanded. The RSM was also taken to German court for a public insult. (Under the Visiting Soldiers Act, German law applied on the camps to.)

Not really a cock up, but an interesting happening.

While on convoy going through the end part of the city of Hamlin. The 2i/c stopped the convoy and was pointing at the top window of a building, in the peak, shouting out, " that's it, that's it. That's where I got my last one". On being asked what last one? He replied , " my last German soldier, plugged him and he just hung out the window". Our 2i/c was of Dutch decent, escaped to the UK during the war. Had the MM to prove his worth and joined the Cdn Army after the war. The German Police weren't impressed with our blocking traffic, but didn't seem to bother the 2i/c.

An RCT three-pipper playing blue-leader of our convoy on a winter scheme decided to do some work in the back of his LWB Landy in the gathering gloom. He bent over the handle of a Tilly lamp and jammed it up over a crossbar to give him a bit of light. This resulted in the loss of about three ribs' worth of top canvas and down the offside (the left side) before we could extinguish it. So he pulled into an Edeka market car-park, grabbed a huge handful of placcy bags and Harry-Blacked them all together to make a temporary replacement for the missing bit of canvas.

It was the first time I'd ever seen the British Army advertising for a Boxheed supermarket chain. The CO was so pleased when we finally arrived at our destination.

MsG

Hardrations wrote:

Stephen Lock wrote:

The Canadians didn't have any "c*ck ups"......

Not really Steph. There was the RSM of a an Infantry Btn ( who shall remain unnamed) Who while on the parade square one day giving drill, spotted a lady walking by dressed in slacks. He shouted out to one of his Sgts., " I'll have no sluts in my camp dressed in trousers. Get her out of here." The said lady it turned out to be the wife of the 2i/c of a neighbouring unit. He was of course reprimanded. The RSM was also taken to German court for a public insult. (Under the Visiting Soldiers Act, German law applied on the camps to.)

That must have been in the 60s or maybe even 70s when "slack suits" for women were very controversial (which seems just dumb now). They were absolutely verboten at Mess dues or even when just attending the Mess for a casual evening.

I'm not sure the RSM's comment can rightly be filed under "C*ck up" but it certainly can be under "Give-It-Some-Thought-First".

On the subject of women in pants/slacks....and I apologize for this being off topic....this was a good example of Canadian wives and daughters standing out like sore thumbs when out and about.

In the 70's your average German woman, be she an upstanding married lady or a sweet young fraulein, absolutely had a sense of decorum and how (and how not) to behave in public.

Things like:

No slacks

No hair in curlers...ever!!

No smoking on the street

Certainly no swearing...perish the thought...not even hardly a muttered Scheisse.

Sad to say, many Canadian wives and daughters either had no idea of local custom or just didn't really give a hoot. The local population was visibly shocked seeing Canadian wives traipsing off down to the MLS/Canex with their hair in curlers, in slacks or jeans, smoking.

Some of the more adventurous teen girls, who adored German boys, quickly adopted German teenage girl fashion (and in the 70s it was pretty awful), but there nevertheless always seemed to be a Canadian 'twist' to it somehow. They never actually looked "native" at all, not sure why!

Quote :

In the 70's your average German woman, be she an upstanding married lady or a sweet young fraulein, absolutely had a sense of decorum and how (and how not) to behave in public.

Things like:

No slacks

No hair in curlers...ever!!

No smoking on the street

Certainly no swearing...perish the thought...not even hardly a muttered Scheisse.

In the early '70's when my wife was pregnant with the boy she used to get dirty looks from the German women when she was out shopping, it seemed it wasn't the done thing to be seen in public when you were heavily pregnant.

Gentlemen bit late on this thread
This c*ck up was so BIG it was written into the RE Young Officers Course training manual at Chatham ‘HOW NOT TO DO IT’…not hearsay I was there: Late 70s our troop was in the Hameln area on exercise and the task was to build a 30m Medium Girder Bridge across a river our brand new troopie straight out the factory (graduate so two pips) told us to build HERE…had only been in the REs for a couple of years on my first field squadron posting but as the youngest sapper in the troop we all had an idea of what a 30m gap looked like…the troop staffie and reece sgt argued with him…the comment was if I say BUILD you BUILD…we were parked on a flood bank and Field Support Squadron Bridge Troop arrived with the MGB and the lads had a chuckle as they also knew what a 30m gap looked like too…bridge pallets are dragged off by another on the trucks in the convoy and kit started to sink into the mud before we even started building…wake up at the back!
BUILD we did as our troopie told us to do he was in the troop HQ 432 planning his next reece…I was sent to get him as the bankseat beam that launches the bridge sank to one side after half the bridge was built not even half way across…so we had made a film ‘A Bridge to Short’ and the Task Farce Tank Sqn were revving up but nowhere to go…troopie was taken away and troop staffie took over and it took us 3 days to recover the bridge with miles of trackway (bog rolls) brought in to get the crane and the bridge troop trucks on to the bridge site to reload the bridge sections…things got even worse for troopie he was despatched to Support Troop and sent off in a ferret to lead a couple of Terex diggers…he feel asleep on top and driver went straight on…trouble is a Terex can only be driven for a short distance on the road…yes you guessed it the torque converters blew up…a true story but what a shame no photos!

Cock ups??..... don't know if these qualify but....................in the mid 80's 2 nice brand new Bailey Bridges were liberated from an Engineer Regt by a German Scrap metal merchant. In the main gate , load said bridges, back out the main gate...........oh how the shit hit the fan!!!

A couple of years later at an Armd Wrksps.A steering box from a 432 came in for a refurb ( from a regiment who shall remain nameless). I signed it in & out with name , rank & no of the person delivering/collecting it . I got a message from the ASM that the Regiment was looking for their steering box. Into camp goes I here you go sir.......name in print ( legible). The Steering box had been collected , but , when they got it back to camp they had left it next to the bins on the tank park..doh!!Result...Regiment got a bill for a new Steering box, I got an extra 2 day leave........this Regiment had pulled a fast one before and the ASM was chuffed to get his own back!!




Steve that wasn't 25 Eng Regt was it??

Steve that wasn't 25 Eng Regt was it??[/quote]

Just a digit up but aka 3 Armd Div Engr Regt...met troopie in the 80s as a major in Iserlohn...he survived!

Not sure if it qualifies but we had to guard this nuclear (?) site once because the RA who usually did it were in Ireland. Most of the guys had standard SLR's but I had an SMG because I was driving the OC around.

He told me to take him to the local bank as he needed cash and it was only when I was sat outside with the engine running, an SMG and him with a loaded pistol inside the bank that I realised that this might be a bit misconstrued if the Polizei came along. Thankfully nothing happened.

During a Royal visit to Stornaway Bks ,in Lemgo where some local dignitaries were invited. The REME chap who was directing traffic indicated to a driver of a car bearing German Civilians plates, "British on the rights, Krauts on the left." That particular car happened to be the Mayor's.

This is a genuine C*CK up. On an exercise on Soltau where all of the Company 432's headlamps and spot lights were on Infra Red, suddenly all of the spot lamps were focuses on a couple making out in a car. The OC came on the net and ordered all spot lamp off.

jim wrote:

Quote :

In the 70's your average German woman, be she an upstanding married lady or a sweet young fraulein, absolutely had a sense of decorum and how (and how not) to behave in public.

Things like:

No slacks

No hair in curlers...ever!!

No smoking on the street

Certainly no swearing...perish the thought...not even hardly a muttered Scheisse.

In the early '70's when my wife was pregnant with the boy she used to get dirty looks from the German women when she was out shopping, it seemed it wasn't the done thing to be seen in public when you were heavily pregnant.

Oh yes...that too! I suppose German women went into "seclusion" (how Edwardian!!) the last few months.

Then of course one of the biggest c*ck ups you bunch pulled, or rather your higher ups, was refusing to purchase the furniture etc from the Canadians which had graced our married quarters for years, opting instead to go out and get some flimsy balsawood crap....with really dreadful pyschedelic upholstery. Cheap cheap cheap stuff that fell apart in MONTHS. The Canadian furniture, on the other hand, is still used by many of us who...uhm...liberated the odd piece to bring back to Canada. Some of it has now been passed down a generation or two!

Stephen Lock wrote:

Then of course one of the biggest c*ck ups you bunch pulled, or rather your higher ups, was refusing to purchase the furniture etc from the Canadians which had graced our married quarters for years, opting instead to go out and get some flimsy balsawood crap....with really dreadful pyschedelic upholstery. Cheap cheap cheap stuff that fell apart in MONTHS. The Canadian furniture, on the other hand, is still used by many of us who...uhm...liberated the odd piece to bring back to Canada. Some of it has now been passed down a generation or two!

How very dare you! This means war! Break out the pyschedelic stuff Brum, We'll brainwash em!

Psychedelic?
I think this bloke must've been on the Wacky Backy mate!
Our furniture was a tasteful drab colour, with touches of Ready Brek and Kinder Schokolade.
Balsa wood? Not with kids like mine!
Stephen, "we bunch" were capable of cockups of a far greater magnitude.
(Those washing machines you left behind were good though, while they lasted).

The biggest cock up for the Canadians was sending us down south to Lahr. But then Pierre Trudea was a gutless wonder who didn't have the balls to enlist untill the last year of the war in some sort of bull shit officer plan. He had the gall to call the deputy leader of the Consevative party a coward. A man who was an RCAF WW 2 pilot who was shot down and became a POW. So I guess our cock up was voting the spineless creep in.