Bullshit

Drill book topic is drifting into bullshit territory so starting one on bullshit.

Two examples spring to mind.

Visit of HM Queen and her feller to Wildenrath. Boss decides we are to pretend to be tactical on the other side of the airfield. Cammed up FFR landy etc but hang on, the ground is a bit dusty and the Duke might get his shoes dirty. Dig some turf up to put at back of landrover so it is nice and clean. We always do this on exercise (in war?) your highness honest!

Wildenrath again and AOC's inspection. Some sort of war going on with Israel and the arabs again and oil is in short supply. We are not even allowed to drive at weekends. So as per in the British forces, we lash thousands of gallons of diesel cleaning up vehicles just so the nice man can give us a good report. Crazy!

A porta loo for Princess Anne at the Rhein Army horse trials, they put a guard on it so no one else but her could use it.

Nice to be lapsing into the Anglo Saxon again , Captain Teabag!
Bullshit I hear you cry? There could be nowhere but NOWHERE more bullshitty than a Junior Leader's Regiment, 1950s-60s.
Three times a year a regiment would hold a competition to find the Champion Troop, (best at drill, etc.). Certain fanatics were chosen for the Turnout phase. I watched said fanatics being CARRIED to the place of inspection because walking would've caused the bull to flake from the mirror surface of their boots.
Total, mad BULLSHIT !

Not morello shine then.

Yet the Guards managed to get a high bulled shine which did not crack with movement Brum. Still witnessed at Trooping the Colour on Saturday.

The Army in their wisdom re-issued the contract for Boots Ankle Leather Soled (aka Ammo Boots) and the new boot comes in smooth leather, meaning they do not need to be burnt down to remove the pimples, which was the main course of cracking polish in the 'old days'

Was not a Boy Soldier myself, but I know the RAOC Juniors got up to the same tricks! What was the other trick Jim? Black Straw Dye?

jim wrote:

A porta loo for Princess Anne at the Rhein Army horse trials, they put a guard on it so no one else but her could use it.

A genuine Royal Flush

Any body remember the the liquid floor polish we put on the boots to make them shiney to save hours of bulling, only to pray all night it would not rain, when it did the boots started frothing up as if u had rampant rabies of the boots.

Quote :

Bullshit I hear you cry? There could be nowhere but NOWHERE more bullshitty than a Junior Leader's Regiment, 1950s-60s

Try AAS Harrogate.Even 7 Sigs was a dawdle after that..

Mike_2817 wrote:

Was not a Boy Soldier myself, but I know the RAOC Juniors got up to the same tricks! What was the other trick Jim? Black Straw Dye?

I believe it was black straw-hat dye.

MsG

I don't remember the straw hat stuff, I do remember as I mentioned earlier the fllor polich which I think was called morello? or something like that.

It was,Straw Hat Dye.It was OK for a quick fix but couldn`t stand a close inspection.

you were right it was morello, put on iwth cotton wool, and then u hoped it would not rain or there was water on the parade ground.

All these solutions were better and faster than bee's wax applied by meths soaked cotton wool-very time consuming but was supposed to give a longlasting gleaming finish

Spit and small circles was all we could get away with.
There was some stuff we would try our luck
with, called "Bodenlack". (It was only later that we realise what the word translates to!)
I notice that the Americans advertise some stuff but the name eludes me, have any of you younger blokes tried it?

LOL, that's it Brum, Morello floor lacquer.

My Father had an astonishing pair of best boots JPW, I'm presuming that as he was infantry that's how he'd done his. You could literally shave in them and they lived in a box surrounded by soft shoe cloths. LOL.

Mike_2817 wrote:

Yet the Guards managed to get a high bulled shine which did not crack with movement Brum. Still witnessed at Trooping the Colour on Saturday.

The Army in their wisdom re-issued the contract for Boots Ankle Leather Soled (aka Ammo Boots) and the new boot comes in smooth leather, meaning they do not need to be burnt down to remove the pimples, which was the main course of cracking polish in the 'old days'

Was not a Boy Soldier myself, but I know the RAOC Juniors got up to the same tricks! What was the other trick Jim? Black Straw Dye?

'Twas Luton Straw Hat Dye. I found that Halfords spray on Ignition Sealer worked for long enough to get you through a parade, just so long as the inspecting officer didn't look too closely.

Originally, however, as a boy soldier we were issued ammo boots which we had to stud and burn down before bulling them all over apart from a quarter of an inch round the ankle for the lace. BS indeed!

Mike

Always remember a pal of mine in the Army Cadet days. We were due for a ceremonial guard mount and in the cadets we only had one pair of boots issued, I purchased a spare pair from an Army Surplus Store and kept one pair highly 'bulled' in a biscuit tin wrapped in a couple of yellow dusters. Anyhow my pal was chosen to go up in a jump balloon ( we were Parachute Regt cadets), so before his adventure he polished his boots but could not get them up to my standard, one of the para boys told him a quick fix was nail varnish. Well most of us had nail varnish, no we were not fairies, we used it on our right thumb nail for the port arms on rifle inspection, it reflected up the barrel when the officer looked down the spout. Well after my pal had painted his boots liberally with the nail varnish he took off for his ballon ride leaving his boots under his bed. Oh My !!, someone swept the floor, resulting in clouds of dust and a beautiful pair of 'muck-lucks' that used to be ammo boots. He had to wear my second pair of boots, and on the inspection the RSM gave him shit because his boots were not up to para standards. He was ordered to 'get them bulled' and report to the RSM. And that's how I became the owner of two pair of highly bulled boots.

Len (Ciphers)

I used Halford Ignition Sealer once. There was a big Parade at Buller Bks Aldershot,and I walked from the married patch there, but somwhere in between it rained , and my once shiny black Boots,DPM turned a shade of mauve.
" Tell me what you used," whispered the SSM."But anything you used must damn well work,laddie!"
Actually I still bull my shoes ,and safety boots with Gunk Plastic Spray & Ignition Sealer. It works fine,and I do not have a CSM or SSM to bother about.

Being attached to the Guards had its advantages. 200 Cigs could see you with a set of highly polished boots. One such pair of boots,kept under the good old trusted yellow duster,and used only for big parades lasted me for five years.

I bulled my boots for a parade in the CCF, then put them under the radiator to dry. Bad idea, the shine totally went leaving me in deep shit.

a certain floor polish in the 70s jhonstons kleer i think was very good for a quick bull,untill it rained,it looked like someone had poured milk on your toecaps.

dandc wrote:

a certain floor polish in the 70s jhonstons kleer i think was very good for a quick bull,untill it rained,it looked like someone had poured milk on your toecaps.

I still use Johnsons Klear in model making, brushes on a lot better than gloss varnish and is heaps cheaper. Never thought to use it as ersatz bull though

Mike

When I was on my Upgraders Course at Bordon in '72, a bloke used to come around the barracks selling an aerosol shoe shine that really worked. Cannot recalled the brand name, but he was later banned from Havannah and Martinique Barracks.

Have just recently taken my last pair of ankle boots out of the closet to use for yard work. They were the pair I had for parades or better know as, " C.O.'s Boots", toe capped and buffed down out of their pebbles by the local shoe maker in Deilinghofen. They still had a high shine ( I was taught well in the Cdn. Guards Depot). A bit tight but have loosened up and are comfortable. Fought off the temptation to give'em a good spit shine for old time sake.

"Fought off the temptation to give'em a good spit shine for old time sake."

LOL, how sad is that, I didn't retain my boots, all I kept was my gasmask and a few surplus pullovers and stuff.