Things you got away with

Got crashed out for 24 hours or so once. Rebro up in the hills as usual. Endex came so we packed up and got ready to go. My mate driving the 432 and me commanding. He decides it would be fun to take it down a steep hill instead of going down the track the long way around..

"You're not going down that f****** thing are you"? says I rather nervously. Guess who never switched from the command frequency to intercom?

Nothing was ever said so I assume at endex they all switched off immediately and buggered off to the NAAFI?

I was in the MT sheds stencilling a No Smoking sign with a fag in my mouth. The OC walked past, needless to say I quickly stood on the fag.
He took a double take, and said,
" Something's wrong !" I quickly replied," It's spelt correct Sir."

While "attached " to a certain Aircraft Workshop ,I was duty driver on the day of our Christmas Dinner.Had one too many, went to my pit, forgetting that I had to pick up the O.C at 1830 hrs that evening to take him to a function downtown. Got up about, 1915,rushed down to the Duty Room and enquired if the OC had called. Yes I was told,and he got a lift to the townhall, but he gave instructions to keep you here until he calls for you. Tired of waiting ,at around 0030 I decided to drive down to the Town Hall and wait on OC there. After making a few enquiries I was told that the OC had left for home since 2200.

On an exercise somewhere in Germany, the Company crossed a field of spuds and the farmer came out shouting for compensation. The OC dismounted from his 432 and ordered the rest of the company to help themselves to the potatoes now owned by Army.

Newly arrived in Nienburg, a pimply 18 - year old, I was due to go on guard on a Saturday night.
I went down town on the afternoon, drank too much and consumed a Bockwurst. Arriving back in camp I went to sleep and was woken by my mates, dressed and shoved on Guard Mounting.
Standing there, waiting for the Orderly Sergeant's inspection, I felt the Bocky wanting to renew our acquaintance. I asked the Guard Commander if I might fall out and leave the contents of my stomach on the flower beds. The NCO replied "F****** shut up, stand still".
I promptly threw up, splashing his best boots. Clearly, I was doomed.
Amazingly, I was awarded Stick Man and bedded down in one of the cells.
I never, ever got Stick Man again.
Bockwurst BAD, Bratwurst GOOD !

brum

brum wrote:

Newly arrived in Nienburg, a pimply 18 - year old, I was due to go on guard on a Saturday night.
I went down town on the afternoon, drank too much and consumed a Bockwurst. Arriving back in camp I went to sleep and was woken by my mates, dressed and shoved on Guard Mounting.
Standing there, waiting for the Orderly Sergeant's inspection, I felt the Bocky wanting to renew our acquaintance. I asked the Guard Commander if I might fall out and leave the contents of my stomach on the flower beds. The NCO replied "F****** shut up, stand still".
I promptly threw up, splashing his best boots. Clearly, I was doomed.
Amazingly, I was awarded Stick Man and bedded down in one of the cells.
I never, ever got Stick Man again.
Bockwurst BAD, Bratwurst GOOD !

brum

Sure it wasn't sick man and you were put in one of the cells? Made me laugh but bet it wasn't funny at the time.

Oh, you're wrong there mate, the rest of the guard thought it was hilarious !

Once put a python in the Squadron's majors Unimog...was quite funny as he shot it and got a bollicking from the CO as they are an endangered species

We had a Major who's pet Labrador would eat anything, one day it came in the office and spewed a complete package of sausages, still wrapped in their cellophane. We didn't mind that but the Major refused to come and clear it up. Next day we fed the dog a bar of ex lax and locked it in his office. That was fun.

Oh and er, the same trick on an exercise with a snotty Life Guards subby who was attached to us for a bit. He took his in a nice warm mug of hot chocolate.

You don't piss your clerks off.

gallahad wrote:

While "attached " to a certain Aircraft Workshop ,I was duty driver on the day of our Christmas Dinner.Had one too many, went to my pit, forgetting that I had to pick up the O.C at 1830 hrs that evening to take him to a function downtown. Got up about, 1915,rushed down to the Duty Room and enquired if the OC had called. Yes I was told,and he got a lift to the townhall, but he gave instructions to keep you here until he calls for you. Tired of waiting ,at around 0030 I decided to drive down to the Town Hall and wait on OC there. After making a few enquiries I was told that the OC had left for home since 2200.

Hmmmm....doesn't sound to me like you "got away with it" at all but rather the OC gave you an object lesson. Just think what he could have done! Having you cool your heels for a few hours, while he enjoyed his function then toddled off home, was a pretty fair pay-back, I'd say! Some would have sent whoever would be responsible for such duties to search you out, drag your sodden butt out of your cot and make an example of you somehow. Good story though!!

jim wrote:

We had a Major who's pet Labrador would eat anything, one day it came in the office and spewed a complete package of sausages, still wrapped in their cellophane. We didn't mind that but the Major refused to come and clear it up. Next day we fed the dog a bar of ex lax and locked it in his office. That was fun.

Nasty!!! LOL LOL

Apart from the responsibilities of owning a dog -- and cleaning up after it if it has an 'accident' etc., your Major sounds a real twit. I'm wondering what the outcome, so to speak, of the Ex Lax episode was....well, I know what the "outcome" was, I meant what was Major's reaction/response to discovering said "outcome." Even a twit of a Major would be able to connect the dots between his not cleaning up his dog's sick in your office and the mess he'd discover in his own. If he was smart, he'd suck it up, clean it up, and shut up about it....but I have a sense he may not have! So....what is the sequel to this story?

He cleaned up and was very nice to us after Stephen, I suspect the Brigade Major had a hand in that.

The subby on the other hand tried to complain to the G (Ops) and was laughed at.