Occurrence Book

Shelldrake wrote:

Worst ones, in my experience, were Site Guard at Menden. Murder, Polis!!

Was that the one for 50 Missile with the timed run to site in a clapped out 3 Tonner The backup Guard dossed down in the attic on camp and got crashed out every so often, bloody rough ride that was I recall.

Memories eh! Shelldrake, what a life it was back then, easier than the lads have now, boredom is not quite a deadly as lead though so let's be grateful.

Thats the one Daveb but, as you say when you put things into perspective, by comparison we did have things relatively easy. Life was so much simpler then.

Site Guard, what a job.
I missed a couple of stags when our unitwas on site guard, and they were going to charge me until they found out i was in the guard room the whole time.
After my stag i grabbed some grub then hit the sack.
The only empty bunk was the only one that was three high (needed oxygen) and no one thought to look up that high.
The look on the guard commanders face when i walked into the guard room from the bunk room was superb, bearing in mind that that door was the only exit from the bunk room.
He wasn`t so happy when he was being marched in.
No further action was taken against me, though.

Happy days,

I recall sitting in the Guardroom at the Menden site one Saturday afternoon, bored out of my skull, from nowhere there appeared what looked like a Platoon of American MPs commanded by a Major who demanded that we let them them in to the inner sanctum, which we did. The Yank ATs or whatever they were, were all arrested and replaced by the MPs, apparently they were all heavy smokers!!

Back to Mrs Webster types. We had one wife who shall be nameless. I can't remember it anyway, who..... er... how shall I put this? Was making love to an empty bottle with no lid on it. This caused a vacuum and got stuck. Signal had to be sent to hubby on a tour in Ireland to notify of her admittance to hospital. I believe he remarked "at least it wasn't some other guy she was doing it with!"

Not quite the occurence book but near enough:

I just remembered how much the RSM didn't laugh when he got my guard report that said I'd lost one of the guard. Lad went out on midnight to two and never came back, we searched his complete beat and could not find him so I informed the orderly officer and noted it in the report.
Just after nine the next morning as I was telling the RSM all about it and he was being his usual sympathetic self the report came in the missing guard had been found....asleep in the coffee room in RHQ with his pickhelve across the arms of the G plan chair supporting his elbows which were in turn supporting his chin. He got a few extras for that one and was discharged a year later with Narcolepsy, I was reminded not to loose any men every bloody time I was guard commander for the next year or so.

We once did a site guard at Berlabeck (near Detmold) a tragically boring duty the highlight of which was an unexpected visit from the orderly officer who had come down from Barker Barracks (Paderborn) to visit us, how nice! He was a fresh faced second lieutenant who was keen as mustard, as they are. The guard commander showed him into the picket room where the lads were watching a film, a porn film obviously. On seeing the film he looked rather uncomfortable, after several seconds one of the lads said 'do you speak German sir? well yes a little, why? came the reply, the question asker pointed at the screen as a young lady yelled Yaa Yaa and innocently asked 'what's she saying then'?

He didn't visit again.

He didn't speak that sort of German then Wilf !.

Wilf wrote:

We once did a site guard at Berlabeck (near Detmold) a tragically boring duty the highlight of which was an unexpected visit from the orderly officer who had come down from Barker Barracks (Paderborn) to visit us, how nice! He was a fresh faced second lieutenant who was keen as mustard, as they are. The guard commander showed him into the picket room where the lads were watching a film, a porn film obviously. On seeing the film he looked rather uncomfortable, after several seconds one of the lads said 'do you speak German sir? well yes a little, why? came the reply, the question asker pointed at the screen as a young lady yelled Yaa Yaa and innocently asked 'what's she saying then'?

He didn't visit again.

Second Lieutenants by all accounts, couldn't tie their own shoelaces without help.

Keen but useless.

pete26 wrote:

Wilf wrote:

We once did a site guard at Berlabeck (near Detmold) a tragically boring duty the highlight of which was an unexpected visit from the orderly officer who had come down from Barker Barracks (Paderborn) to visit us, how nice! He was a fresh faced second lieutenant who was keen as mustard, as they are. The guard commander showed him into the picket room where the lads were watching a film, a porn film obviously. On seeing the film he looked rather uncomfortable, after several seconds one of the lads said 'do you speak German sir? well yes a little, why? came the reply, the question asker pointed at the screen as a young lady yelled Yaa Yaa and innocently asked 'what's she saying then'?

He didn't visit again.

Second Lieutenants by all accounts, couldn't tie their own shoelaces without help.

Keen but useless.

Use full as a box of stones.

Daveb wrote:

Shelldrake wrote:

Worst ones, in my experience, were Site Guard at Menden. Murder, Polis!!

Was that the one for 50 Missile with the timed run to site in a clapped out 3 Tonner The backup Guard dossed down in the attic on camp and got crashed out every so often, bloody rough ride that was I recall.

Memories eh! Shelldrake, what a life it was back then, easier than the lads have now, boredom is not quite a deadly as lead though so let's be grateful.

We shared that one (1 SSM Bty RCA) with 50th Missile. Thank goodness I only had to sit in the radio room for 24 hrs or in the radio room back in Fort Prince of Wales with the back up guard. Never had to do the towers. That was deadly for the lads who did it. That particular site is now just a grassy field, with a hump where the guard room was. The picture shows all that there is at the old Menden site.

Not in the Occurrence book, but in the Comms Log. A favourite on being relieved of duty was to note, " Cpl/Signalman Jones took over the Bde Adm Det and appears to be sober". Thank goodness log books were done in pencil, so could be corrected.

Wilf wrote:

We once did a site guard at Berlabeck (near Detmold) a tragically boring duty the highlight of which was an unexpected visit from the orderly officer who had come down from Barker Barracks (Paderborn)

Was plagued with the pests who's duty bunk was at Alanborck Barracks Officers Mess which 1CSB shared! and they would visit Depot 90 at Sennelarger at all hours, but you got a warning from the MSO at the outer gate. Duties improved when BFBS TV started in 1978ish and we persuaded the Company Fund to rent a TV from SKC. Subbies really had nothing to do in 1CSB, and I think a duty was the highlight of the month for them LoL

I still think you can't beat being locked into Bde HQ from 1700 on Friday evening to 0800 on Monday morning. The only distraction was the bleeps from the comcen bringing you priority and flash signals and cold food from the cookhouse. What a night mare, and because we only had 5 clerks on the roster, ie CPL's and below you were guaranteed it once a month, that plus copious 1 night duties as well.

i once did a 48 hr shift over christmas,My only comforts were members of the WRAF bringing me ale and an assortment of tit bits.It was a hard life in Singapore...sigh!