FLASH MESSAGE - FOR OUR EYES ONLY :-)))

Before joining as a Regular I had been in the Army Cadets (Hampshire Regt - Royal Hampshire Regt - Parachute Regt ACF) for four years, where three stripes and a crown was a Staff Sgt .. first run in after joining the Signals (never, never, never, the Sigs) was after 3 days I got a tape, local, acting, unpaid and unwashed lance corporal .... I was paraded at the Sqn Office to get my 'promotion' when along comes this guy with 3 hooks and a crown. What's you name lad .. Payne, Staff .. I'm not a bloody Staff I'm the Foreman of Signals, .. Sorry Sir .. I'm not a Sir, I'm Foreman (Christ I had never been in a Union before) .. see another guy with 3 hooks and a crown .. I'm ready for him .. excuse me Foreman .. I'm not the Foreman, I'm the SQMS, call me 'Q' .. I'm ready to go home .. when I see another guy with 3 hooks and a crown .. Are you Payne, he asked, without thinking 'Yes Staff. .. not a whimper from him, he was a bloody Staff, he was the Chief Clerk ..
The mysteries of the Royal Signals hierarchy were slowly unfolding to me.

Oh yes I nearly forgot .. never call the Squadron Sergeant Major mate, seems to piss them off.

Len (Ciphers)

talking of pissing the sgt maj off i did that one whilst on parade
somehow i had shaved very well along comes the rsm doing his inspection , and i just knew ther was something wrong i could feel him standing behind me when all of a sudden his pace stick fell upon my shoulder question he asks what is on the end of his stick "dont know" i reply
" SHITE" he screams i reply "NOT ON THIS END SIR" well twice round the parade ground on my hands and knees taught me not to piss off the rsm god bless them all

I've noticed a couple of times, on these meandering threads, that people get quite vitriolic over the title "Sigs".

Regiments all endured abbreviation to help keep things brief didn't they ?

You couldn't call Royal Anglian "RA", for example, because somebody else already had that one, so they were titled "R.ANGLIAN", for example. "RS" could be Royal Signals but there again it could be Royal Scots. so I always saw them written as R.Sigs.

None of our resident Scaleys (don't remember them being called that by the way) took umbrage at being called "R.Sigs" so why is it so unmentionable nowadays ?

I'm only posting this so I can become a three star general (as a yank squaddie once said when he saw our Brigadier).

Was doing my clearance at Wilders and went into another troops office to get my chit signed. Where are you posted to Teabag the captain said? 8 Sigs on a conversion course sir says I. It's not 8 sigs it's Eighth Signal Regiment he said in no uncertain manner. Never said it again so it must have stuck!

Yahoo I'm a three star general.

I normaly post as 7,8,or 19 Sigs.When talking to senior officers it was always 7th Regiment or 249 Squadron. or whatever.Very seldom used the full title 7 Signal Regiment or whatever number it was

FMOB Brigadier Teabag.

In 1952 I was posted to 4 Squadron, 6 Armoured Division, York Barracks, Munster .. but it was more Rambo to call it 20 Armoured Brigade Signal Squadron, that is until I had to visit Div HQ in Bunde .. 'What's your name corporal, what squadron are you in' RSM Jimmy Derwent barked .. Oh Calamity .. I made the boo boo of saying 20 Bde Signal Sqn sir .. Christ I thought he was going to bust a gut ... if he could have given me a 100 lines he would have .. never forgot after that I was in 4 Squadron ..

Len (Ciphers)

dandc wrote:

a donkey walloper,is a grand name for cavellrymen.

Hi there, did you serve with 655 Sqn AAC in Detmold, circa 74/76?

I was in REME and thought I was a Craftsman or maybe just crafty. Manxmac

Permission to Carry On Cooking...been in London Town again

john boy wrote:

Permission to Carry On Cooking...been in London Town again

Cooking??? You'll have Ginger Jim after you.

How's your wife John ?

Only just come across this thread on 'names' and it reminded me of something that happened not too long ago. It would have probably been around 2007/2008.
I was working for a company call DEF LOG VQ Trust. We were delivering logistics and transport NVQs to the RLC.
Our HQ was at Leconfield (DST) but we had Learning Resource Centres all round the country and in Germany and Cyprus.
Because we provided learning we were subject to the dreaded OFSTED Inspections, and they duly descended on us.
The majority of us were ex SNCOs, so we all 'spoke the same language' as it were.
I don't recall the context, but someone mentioned Colour Sgt 'Smith'. One of these inspectors stopped everything and gave us a lecture on racial prejudice.
He really couldn't understand why we all stood with grins on our faces and then burst out laughing. He did have the grace to apologise when it was explained in words of one syllable.
I often think it was a good job we were not dealing with the Household Cavalry. He would have had a fit at Cpl of the Horse!

Following on from the above.
As I said the majority of us were ex SNCOs and a number of 'wives of', with very few 'pure' civilians.
But we had one guy join us at Deepcut who knew absolutely nothing about the Army (didn't know anything about logistics or transport either) but he was super intelligent, but one of these intelligent idiots.
He had been there just under a week when he walked into the RSMs office, dropped a piece of paper in front of him and said 'I want to see these people in my office at 11 oclock.', turned round and walked out. Well, not quite, apparently. I understand that he didn't actually get as far as the door before he found out what an RSM was!

He lasted about 3 months before leaving us and even then could not understand the difference between an O.C. and a C.O. Funny bloke.

We were up at Leconfield on staff training and in a Beverley hotel. Now, I really believe this guy was the 'ultimate virgin'. He came down to breakfast and plonked himself down on a table that had the two ladies who ran the Colchester Learning Resource Centre. Real Essex girls and always up for a laugh.
They were talking, just quietly together, about bras (as ladies do), and this idiot had to put his three penn'arth in with some remark about a bras which no doubt he had gleaned from an advert on TV.
The girls stopped their conversation and looked at him. After a few seconds silence (and everyone in the room was quiet at this point), J said 'All righ', M, since yer so bleedin' clever lets go back to basics. What fills a bra?' He suddenly realised how deep he'd dug himself in and scuttled out of the dining room without eating his breakfast. Needless to say the whole place erupted in laughter.

Following on from the above.
As I said the majority of us were ex SNCOs and a number of 'wives of', with very few 'pure' civilians.
But we had one guy join us at Deepcut who knew absolutely nothing about the Army (didn't know anything about logistics or transport either) but he was super intelligent, but one of these intelligent idiots.
He had been there just under a week when he walked into the RSMs office, dropped a piece of paper in front of him and said 'I want to see these people in my office at 11 oclock.', turned round and walked out. Well, not quite, apparently. I understand that he didn't actually get as far as the door before he found out what an RSM was!

He lasted about 3 months before leaving us and even then could not understand the difference between an O.C. and a C.O. Funny bloke.

We were up at Leconfield on staff training and in a Beverley hotel. Now, I really believe this guy was the 'ultimate virgin'. He came down to breakfast and plonked himself down on a table that had the two ladies who ran the Colchester Learning Resource Centre. Real Essex girls and always up for a laugh.
They were talking, just quietly together, about bras (as ladies do), and this idiot had to put his three penn'arth in with some remark about a bras which no doubt he had gleaned from an advert on TV.
The girls stopped their conversation and looked at him. After a few seconds silence (and everyone in the room was quiet at this point), J said 'All righ', M, since yer so bleedin' clever lets go back to basics. What fills a bra?' He suddenly realised how deep he'd dug himself in and scuttled out of the dining room without eating his breakfast. Needless to say the whole place erupted in laughter.