Army Lingo

I fell asleep reading it.

The mention of virgins held my attention..

Gordon. wrote:

The mention of virgins held my attention..

Try google mate.

It'll be up there along with Shirgar, The Mary Celeste, el Dorado, the Lost Chord and other such myths.

Blimey Chef, did you type all this in or have you discovered some weird and wonderful way to cut 'n paste onto this site ?


Just like this Brum .... (its a Signals thing)

Len (Ciphers)

ciphers wrote:

Blimey Chef, did you type all this in or have you discovered some weird and wonderful way to cut 'n paste onto this site ?


Just like this Brum .... (its a Signals thing)

Len (Ciphers)

magic pasty fing

magic pasty , wot in the army, wos it made from blancoe, ginger

Just remembered more irritations of GI Speak imported from Hollywood to go with the "guys" for persons of any gender..............

1. INCOMING ............. Do our lads at the sharp end yell this rather than "F.....
me! Get your effin' heads down !"

2. BOOT CAMP............ Why Boots ? How can boots alone be equated with all that
physical nastiness of basic training ?

And as an aside.........Heard that the biggest disturbance in New York during WW2 was when a US marine recognised a similar cap badge on a Royal who arrived in port on a visiting Brit cruiser. "Say, Limey", he queried, "......What's that RM on your shoulder ?" " That my son", he answered ".....stands for REAL Marines. "

(Well, if John Boy can do it . . . !)

One day, in WW2, shortly after the Allies had crossed the Rhine, (BAOR topic, see, see ?)
a senior general was paying a visit to a military hospital.

Entering a ward full of men who appeared to be free of injury, he he went to the first bed and spoke to the occupant.
The man replied . .

"Fair fa yer honest, sonsie face
Great chieftain o' the puddin' race
Aboon them a' ye tak yer place
Painch tripe or thairm, as lang's my airm "

Looking puzzled the great man said "Well done" and moved on to the next bed, where he was greeted with . .

"Some hae meat an cannae eat
And some wad eat that want it
But we hae meat an' we can eat
So let the Lord be thankit"

Muttering darkly to himself the General approached a third bed and heard . .

"Wee sleekit, cowerin', timorous beastie
O the panic in thy breastie
Thou need na' start awa' sae hasty
Wi' bickerin' brattle"

Turning to the Colonel in charge, the General snapped "What is this place, a psychiatric ward ?"

"Oh no Sir replied the Colonel, (wait for it ! . .)

"THIS IS THE SERIOUS BURNS UNIT !"

boom boom

For Cartav

boot camp

U.S. Marines slang, said to be from boot as slang for "recruit," which supposedly dates from the Spanish-American War and is a synecdoche from boots , leggings worn by U.S. sailors.

Not from Mr Google

Quote :

(Well, if John Boy can do it . . . !)

One day, in WW2, shortly after the Allies had crossed the Rhine, (BAOR topic, see, see ?)
a senior general was paying a visit to a military hospital.

Entering a ward full of men who appeared to be free of injury, he he went to the first bed and spoke to the occupant.
The man replied . .

"Fair fa yer honest, sonsie face
Great chieftain o' the puddin' race
Aboon them a' ye tak yer place
Painch tripe or thairm, as lang's my airm "

Looking puzzled the great man said "Well done" and moved on to the next bed, where he was greeted with . .

"Some hae meat an cannae eat
And some wad eat that want it
But we hae meat an' we can eat
So let the Lord be thankit"

Muttering darkly to himself the General approached a third bed and heard . .

"Wee sleekit, cowerin', timorous beastie
O the panic in thy breastie
Thou need na' start awa' sae hasty
Wi' bickerin' brattle"

Turning to the Colonel in charge, the General snapped "What is this place, a psychiatric ward ?"

"Oh no Sir replied the Colonel, (wait for it ! . .)

"THIS IS THE SERIOUS BURNS UNIT !"

boom boom

Last time i read that (about10,20,30, years ago) It was attributed to General Paton

cartav wrote:

And as an aside.........Heard that the biggest disturbance in New York during WW2 was when a US marine recognised a similar cap badge on a Royal who arrived in port on a visiting Brit cruiser. "Say, Limey", he queried, "......What's that RM on your shoulder ?" " That my son", he answered ".....stands for REAL Marines. "

In Barker Bks, Paderborn we had an American Detachment co-located with us. A newly posted in US NCO said to me "Hey Mac, where's the F****** NAAFI?" I said "How do you know my name?", he replied "I just F****** guessed!" to which I replied, rather wittily, I thought "Well guess where the F****** NAAFI is".

[quote="Gordon."]

Quote :

(Well, if John Boy can do it . . . !)



Last time i read that (about10,20,30, years ago) It was attributed to General Paton

Don't know about that, me old mate. It was David Cameron who was inspecting the hospital when I got it.

I just tweaked it to militarise it a bit.

HELLO …? IS THAT THE BRITISH ARMY?

“Thank you for calling the British Army. I am sorry but all our units are out at the moment, or are otherwise engaged. Please leave a message with your country of origin, name of organisation, the region, the specific crisis and a number to call you.”

“As soon as we have sorted out the Balkans, Northern Ireland, The Firemen, Iraq 2, marching up and down bits of tarmac in London and equal opportunities training, we will return your call.”

“Please speak after the tone, or if you require more options, please listen to the following.”

“If your crisis is small and close to the sea, press 1 for the Royal Marines.”

“If your problem is distant, with a tropical climate and good hotels, and can be solved by a few low risk – low level bombing runs, press # for the Royal Air Force. – Please note this service is not available after 16:30 or at weekends.”

“If your enquiry concerns a situation that can be resolved by a bit of grey funnel, bunting, flag waving and a really good marching band, please write WELL in advance to the First Sea Lord, The Admiralty, London.”

“If your enquiry is not urgent. Press 2 for the Allied Rapid Reaction Corps.”

“If you are interested in joining the Army and wish to be shouted at, paid little, have premature arthritis, train to be a fire-fighter, execute regime changes in hot places, put your wife and family in a condemned hut miles from civilisation, and be prepared to work your arse off daily with leave being cancelled at short notice, whilst watching the treasury erode your original conditions of service and career – your call will be connected to a bitter, passed-over recruiting Sergeant in a grotty shop out of town.”

“Thank you for calling the British Army!”

Back

Gordon. wrote:

For Cartav

boot camp

U.S. Marines slang, said to be from boot as slang for "recruit,"

Not from Mr Google

Eh up Gordon ! I'm impressed, you're quick off the mark again ! Next time I'll come straight to you, rather than irritate everybody with these topic relevant posts.

Can't quite see the connection, though, between "boot" & "recruit". Not as logical as that southern rhyming slang................ And I' m disappointed no one has come back after I put up TITE WIDOW. Thought that might have solicited some ribald comment. Bet that's not in Mr. Google, but Brum, Sheldrake or Bob might have come across it. !

[quote="cartav
................ And I' m disappointed no one has come back after I put up TITE WIDOW. Thought that might have solicited some ribald comment. Bet that's not in Mr. Google, but Brum, Sheldrake or Bob might have come across it. ! [/quote]

"TITE WIDOW" ?

Can't say I saw that one.

(Might've met her once though . . . with a tube of KY jelly . . . Load !).

Not one that I am familiar with either cartav, bit before my time, I suspect. Now if you had said BLACK WIDOW............

Not only does TITE not appear in Google...It dosn`t appear anywhere on the net.,

Oh Dear ! You'll all be disappointed, seeing the way you've been heading. But it's no surprise Brum is baffled, it's hardly relevant to that Guy Fawkes' Night whizzbang he attended........

TITE WIDOW is a memory jogger for factors which influence the path of a projectile lobbed out of a gun barrel and which have to be considered when the ten mile snipers are working out how to drop a shell somewhere near to a distant target. The imagination might even be stretched to say that it can also be applicable to teeny bullets & golf balls........... Ready ? Here goes......

TI............. Time of flight, how long it takes to reach a target.

TE............ Air Temperature. The warmer it is, the less dense is the
atmosphere.

WI........... Wind Speed.

DOW....... Direction of Wind.

There are other factors to be considered, too........... Relative heights of gun & target, type of propellant, wear in gun barrel, etc. but you'd be bored & I've forgotten. I always remembered TITE WIDOW though, and it's not often you can turn a conversation around to where it could be of interest. Even here, I guess.

And Gordon....... See page 5 this topic.

Just did so Cartav..

So what is it TITE WIDOW or TITEWIDOW..There is a difference you know..

You must excuse Brum..He has this thing about sex..He trys to apply it to all situations

and Shelldrake must have a thing about spiders.

Touche Gordon ! I grovel again. To TARAs, it don't matter. (That's not WO Is in this instance, but Technical Assistants RA, the squaddies who used to scribble on proformas, add all the factors up & come up with data for adjusting bearings, elevation, etc.) To Mr Google it might matter. But I don't reckon it would be in his vast store of knowledge anyway, though it could have excited more interest from the Brums & Sheldrakes if there is a gap in the middle.

Cartav Smartarse rating reduced from 4- Star to 3-Star. WEF this missive.

Di- Dah, Di-Dah-Di.

Ah!! That TITEWIDOW - that's where I got confused. MSO - Nichts Verstehen.

Quote :

the squaddies who used to scribble on proformas, add all the factors up & come up with data for adjusting bearings, elevation, etc.

Shelldrake probably used one of those new fangled devices called COMPUTERS.Brum on the other hand would have used a slate and chalk

I was always one of Brum's school, back of an envelope, a stub of pencil & an abacus.

But Brum's lot had it easy. Just point it by eye, light the blue touch paper, stick fingers in ears & if it landed anywhere within five miles of where they were aiming (and went off) it counted as a hit. Rapid fire was two rounds a week..........

No precision like with the old 9-pounders.

Would this be the sort of thing you used Cartav

[quote="cartav"]Touche Gordon ! I grovel again. To TARAs, it don't matter. (That's not WO Is in this instance, but Technical Assistants RA, the squaddies who used to scribble on proformas, add all the factors up & come up with data for adjusting bearings, elevation, etc.)

TARAs were eventually renamed (I think they were called Surveyors).

We had a big Geordie gun No 1 who called them "educated idiots".

Nobody argued !